Good Grief

Someone said that grief is a friend. It is a natural response to loss; loss of a loved one, loss of a child, loss of a friend, or the loss of a dream.

Grieving over the death of our precious still-born baby Leilani has given me more sympathy and empathy for other people who have suffered loss. Suddenly, others are telling us about their still borns or infant/child deaths. Memories of loss.

Pity the ones who are told not to grieve. "Don't cry, it's OK, it was for the best, God wrote it." What are we supposed to do? Hide? Inside we hurt but are told not to grieve, at least not like those who have no hope. True.

Yesterday a group of women visited my wife. They said, "What a miracle -- the baby went straight to heaven! You should be so happy! If you handle yourself and not get too upset, then that's better. Crying every day means that you aren't doing well."
Seems to me that there are a lot of women around who never grieved and are walking around wounded, crying on the inside.

Is a baby a person? Is a baby inside the womb a person? Or a person in the making?

I imagine Leilani growing up like my daughter Analisa. What would her personality be like? Somewhere between Analisa and Lukas. Unique, I'm sure.